daniboy @ livejournal

I can't help but to be sensitive and an observant cynic from time to time. Especially, when I am in these sucking situations:

1. When I'm just being remembered, when I'm needed.
2. When someone is just using me for their own benefit and most of the times, me just being the "pawn."
3. When someone is showing fake gratitude or concern towards me.
4. And, when I allow it all to happen hence makes me a sitting duck.

I understand if these happen often in the workforce with your colleagues; but unfortunately, these shits exist (more often than we realize), within our special circle--our "friends."

It sucks to be used and be abused. But it sucks more to be a user. Just a hermit thought.

Again, there's this strong longing inside of me for something new. But I'm held by my mentality as it tells me to seek for it next year. Yeah but contrariwise, my gut tells me I should not be wasting time. I'm confused.

But I'm okay. Life sucks in many ways and forms but I have been handling it maturely and very well. I live and wake up in the morning with a deep urge to be a better person. And that makes me feel truly good. And to condense my current thoughts in life, here's Gandhi's famous quote: ""Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."

Hey LJ, sorry for neglecting you for a long time. You've been almost killed by my twitter.

I think i am more of a failure than a success and I just don't want to admit it.  Too much positivity has made me blind to everything that is going in reality. My hopeful attitude is no longer an asset.  But does turning it around would make a solution?

I just hate this thought that struck me.  I was a happy and shiny boy last weekend and now here I am going on with this hell. Was the weekend even real? I beg the questions.

daniboy

• 09:11 is thinking if he did the right thing last night. #
• 09:51 is bracing for the one week detention out of manila. #
• 12:09 home alone? i haven't gone down yet. lol #

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daniboy

• 08:03 is taking things slowly for next week. #
• 12:42 : when i see you smile, i see a ray of light. #

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daniboy

• 21:31 watching abe concepcion's fight in youtube. he missed it in pay-per-view... or was it not shown? #
• 22:09 f**k off mayweather sr. #
• 09:56 reading directors' treatments. #
• 10:03 contemplating on his long weekend... work, beer, pacquiao-hatton, work, massage, weights, bench press, marketmarket, christia, work! #

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daniboy

• 19:46 is tired and pissed off. #
• 07:18 pacquiao! 7th round! #

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daniboy

• 21:59 hasn't seen kulot for a long time. he misses her. #
• 12:29 has finally settled to the new office. #
• 17:30 ingress later at 9pm. #
• 18:03 power nap in his new and bigger chair. #

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daniboy

• 08:52 was virtually disconnected yesterday. #
• 08:53 see you soon @tyran20 ! enjoy your trip! #
• 09:01 has a new number but still using the old one. #
• 09:13 boston is in trouble. tsk #
• 18:01 one more day before my first major event. #

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daniboy

• 06:04 off to work, another long work week ahead. #
• 06:05 hi @stellers and @maestropao! #

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daniboy

• 20:21 i'll be soon breaking up with my 7-year old number. difficult transition for sure. #
• 22:23 has just convinced coco to join tweeter. tweet it baby! #
• 23:42 likes to see underdogs win. phillys, gotta crush those busters! #
• 00:08 nuvali escapade later with @mikeyagulto and @trixy_p. #

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daniboy

• 07:55 sleepless. #
• 17:41 finally i got my phone and refurbished notebook. #

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daniboy

• 20:09 meetings, ocular, research presentation today. tonight, at the editing house. #
• 08:58 last day in the valero office. #

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daniboy

• 21:38 working at home still. #
• 21:41 hates to be in between. #
• 22:04 found his two buddies whom he has never seen since his last visit in the US. thanks to FB. #
• 22:10 more looking forward on his trip this August. #
• 13:28 sneaking out! CAVS on 2-0! Final dime! #
• 14:05 uso break-ups ah. tsk tsk #
• 14:41 started packing things. good thing he's soft copy whore.:) #
• 17:33 liquidations, revisions, boxes etc. they are all around! #

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daniboy

• 13:15 need some cleaning up. last few days in the valero office. #
• 15:40 wonders why GLobetec has not reported back to him yet. Am I not qualified? :l #

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I think I have been overusing my brain for the past weeks and it is giving me real headache. Same grounds with the heart, I guess.  Too much usage could cause unbearable and overwhelming heartache.

LOL. Emo!

I was about to write something of random interest but the time I settled into my seat, I got distracted by something more worth ranting about-- my big fat belly.  Sidetracked too much that I felt like it was begging my attention and to humanize it, like a growing fetus kicking inside.  Right now, I am consciously keeping an eye on my exhalation as I might lose all the buttons of my tight polo shirt.   Yes, I am gaining pounds of weight lately and soon to be an overweight, again.  

Mainly for two reasons, first,  I have stopped hitting the gym for about three months now and to simply put,  just have gained back my love for food.  Eating has become my remedy when I'm lethargic or plainly bored. They say it is a psychological problem too, because sometimes I eat heavily when depression gets into me.  And sometimes the cause? Surprise, the lack of food.

It sucks to admit that I'm here in a nearby coffee shop pigging out while doing this. Oh, I just had Mcdo for breakfast and KFC for lunch, by the way. I seriously need to do something about this.  I guess first right step on my end is realizing and admitting I have a problem and maybe the next step... Dr.Phil? Not. 

Second chances are never easy.  That is what I always tell. Eh what more for third, fourth fifth and so on? Wala lang, I just realized that I'm starting to lose my pride again... for nth time. = )

For the first two months of 2009, I think I have managed well on dealing with heavy work loads and stiff time lines.  Thanks to the organizer that was given to me by Tita Eloise, Andrea's mom.  It drastically improved my time management skills and helped me value planning.  I am right now adhering to this famous epigram strikingly that I posted it in my cubicle's wall, "If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail." 

Have I stood down my old spontaneous self?  Yeah, maybe at work but on a usual daily grind, I felt that majority of my decisions were still impulsive.  One perfect example is agreeing to join the concert of my college choir which will happen this Wednesday.  I just miss the experience and can't let go of it.   Though as of this writing, I am quite not sure.  I still don't know what's the perfect excuse to file for undertime.  Worst, I don't know how tedious work will be that day.  I really need to plan for it now.

Life has been pretty good to me and things got better.  I want to share those "things" and my current state but I really don't know how and where to start. But to sum it up, I can say everything is on track.

I am off to Bangkok on the 14th for work. Therefore, I have to move my therapy the next week and ultimately will miss spending V-day with someone. Yep, finally after a year. =)

Masaya lang.